Why grandparents are annoying

Of course, if your grandparents are abusive, things change entirely. There is no rule that we must retain contact with people who are toxic or harmful, even if they are family. Method 2. Assess the situation carefully. If you are a new parent, your life has suddenly changed drastically, and you're still learning to juggle all the different aspects and demands of your life. Keep in mind that your children's grandparents are also adjusting to the new addition s to the family.

Before you angrily confront your children's grandparents about their behavior, try to determine whether or not you are still all in the midst of an adjustment period. Do you think that with time and patience the current discord will resolve itself? If you'd rather nip things in the bud—you just can't handle the frequent, unannounced drop-ins, for example—make a list to yourself of the specific behaviors that troubling you. Consider the grandparents' perspective.

If you happened to have read the first method on coping with your own annoying grandparents, you'll notice that many of the steps here parallel those above. Even though your relationship with your children's grandparents is of course different in many ways from that of a grandchild-grandparent relationship, there are still commonalities. We're dealing with interpersonal familial relationships, and any time we face conflict, it helps if we first attempt to consider the other person's perspective.

It's quite likely that you or your partner will need to have a direct conversation with your children's grandparents, but thinking about why they are acting as they are will help better prepare you for that talk.

For example, you may be annoyed with your mother's constant inquiries into your newborn's feeding schedule which you may take as thinly disguised criticism , but is it possible that she may be anxious on your behalf because of the difficulties she had when you were a baby? Similarly, you may be entirely frustrated at the unannounced pop-ins, but your perspective on the situation may change once you realize that you haven't been so great at extending invitations to your children's grandparents to visit.

Most likely, the grandparents are simply overly eager to spend time with their beloved grandchildren. Try to be charitable in your interpretations. This step naturally follows from the previous: you are doing your best to consider the grandparent's perspective; very little good will come from automatically assuming the worst about their motivations. Perhaps your parents have barely called or visited since you've brought your newborn home, which leads you to believe that they aren't interested in their new grandchild.

While this is a possibility, start from a charitable position and consider the possibility that they are trying to give you your space. It's quite possible that they are anxiously awaiting your first move. Learn more about your children's grandparents. You have your own unique relationship with your children's grandparents, but you may not know know as much about their experiences with their parents or in-laws. Their behavior now is surely informed by their own experiences as parents, and they thus may have different expectations about how much or little to be involved with your children.

Did you ask her for lots of advice? How did you deal with that? Learn about any generational differences in raising children. It's hard enough for you to sort through the conflicting and ever-changing advice on how to best care for and raise your children. Learning about how standards have changed sometimes drastically over the years will help you understand where your children's grandparents are coming from. You may be thoroughly frustrated at your mother-in-law's constant nagging about introducing rice cereal into your weeks-old-newborn's diet, but once you learn that her pediatrician recommended this, it will make her current behavior more understandable.

Similarly, much less was known about SIDS, for example, even a generation ago, and it wasn't so long ago that parents were warned against placing babies on their backs to sleep.

While this is certainly not a point you want to give in on, understanding that your children's grandparents were given different instructions will help you as you decide how to talk with them and make clear your expectations. Enlist the help of your children's grandparents.

Rather than pushing the grandparents out completely or setting down an absolute, inflexible set of rules, find areas in which you can seek their advice and make them feel involved. When the baby sleeps over at her house, you can then ask Grandma to be prepared to rock baby to sleep at precisely 7pm.

Decide what you can and cannot put up with. It's important that you remain as flexible as possible as you deal with your children's grandparents. There are of course going to be some issues, particularly those concerning safety, which you want to be firm on, but try to determine which behaviors on the grandparent's part are mere annoyances.

On the other hand, if you can't trust that Grandpa will put the baby down on her back without pillows and stuffed animals in the crib, you aren't going to be able to let him babysit at nap or bedtime. Be clear in your expectations. It's important that you not expect your children's grandparents to be able to read your mind and automatically know what you want from them.

You've worked carefully to create a routine and set of rules that work best for your children after doing tons of research and consulting with their pediatrician. When your children are going to be under their watch, make sure that you are clear and specific in your expectations.

Similarly, while you may want your children's grandparents to be a regular part of their life, you may not have anticipated that they'd be visiting every other day. Could we all get together on Saturday or Sunday this week? Remember your first role to your children. Yes, it is. Is it also necessary, no matter how many times grandma or grandpa allegedly stuck a fork into an electrical socket and survived?

Also yes. Having some extra help around the house when you have a young child is always appreciated. What's not quite as pleasant however—and can lead to some serious annoyance—is when grandparents start showing up unexpectedly and start inserting themselves into situations best handled by their grandchild's parents alone.

Do grandparents sometimes have a grandchild they like best? Is it ever appropriate to make that known, whether verbally or through behavior? Absolutely not—and doing so might just get your babysitting privileges revoked. Parents and grandparents often have different ideas about what constitutes an appropriate punishment—and many fights have ensued over this discrepancy.

While mom or dad thinks talking through an issue is the best way to get it solved, grandma's in the corner ready to wash someone's mouth out with soap. Involved grandparents have a very special role in their grandkids' life—but that role is not "parent.

Their role is no longer to parent the child," says Kulaga. While there are bound to be differences between grandchildren—one who gets straight A's versus the one who hasn't turned in an assignment in weeks—grandparents should know better than to compare their grandkids to each other.

After all, everything from parenting style to sleep habits to neurological differences can affect a child's behavior, and comparisons certainly won't do anything to improve their self-esteem. Is it sometimes difficult to watch a stranger take care of your precious grandchild? That said, if grandparents want to stay in the picture, it's probably in their best interest not to criticize perfectly competent, respectful babysitters or give parents too much trouble about why they're returning to work in the first place.

All babies get fussy, and that sometimes means a grandparent will be tasked with trying to soothe them for a few minutes. Of course, if a baby is completely losing it, it's understandable that you might want to hand them back, but if you're bowing out the second a baby isn't silent, don't be surprised when you get the side eye from the parents.

Just because you think a new parent is holding their baby incorrectly or can't change a diaper to save their life, that's not an excuse to step in. Much like the generations that came before them, today's new parents also have to learn to act on their feet when kids are concerned. As a grandparent, you're part of a whole-family team that requires you to be on the same page as your grandkids' parents. So, if you happen to decide that badmouthing mom or dad's choices is a good idea, prepare yourself for some backlash—and for anything you say to get back to them.

While withholding praise isn't necessarily a great model for boosting confidence , grandparents who commend their grandchildren for every action, no matter how minor, aren't doing them any favors in the long run, either. After all, how is a kid supposed to have realistic expectations about how the world at large will react to them when they've just been told they're "exceptionally good at drinking water"? The majority of kids hit their developmental milestones at some point or another, meaning nobody can really take credit for them learning to walk, speak, or read.

However, much to the displeasure of parents everywhere, there are countless grandparents who will insist that their grandchildren would have remained sedentary, mute, and illiterate without their sage guidance.

Bedtimes serve a very real purpose: ensuring that children get adequate sleep so as not to be a complete nightmare the following day. Save Pin More. Grandparents love doling out unsolicited advice -- and not all of it is bad really.

But here's what to do when their constant suggestions start to get on your nerves. Start Slideshow. Credit: Veer. Credit: iStockphoto. Credit: Punchstock. Credit: iStock. Replay gallery. Pinterest Facebook. Up Next Cancel. Share the Gallery Pinterest Facebook. Your kids turn into Defcon five monsters. Manners, disciplinary milestones, chore responsibilities, all go down the drain, folks.

Your kids will start crying—bawling—over stupid stuff, all because good 'ol gram and gramps put them on a sugar-filled, carbolicious bender. Thank you grandparents. No really, thank you for making me regret my decision to leave you unattended with my children every single time. Sometimes, it can take a whole week to get your kids back to "normal" after a grandparent encounter. And while I'm not waging war against grandparents, they can sometimes be the worst.

Here's why:. But everything that makes grandparents the worst to you makes them the best to your kids, right? So let's raise our glasses to the totally crazy stuff grandparents do to annoy us, and be thankful every day that they are still here to drive us batty. Type keyword s to search.

Here's why: Sugar. Grandparents inebriate your children with ice cream, cookies and lollipops. And there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. When the kids are crashing—oh, look at that! Upon arrival, be prepared to do some serious detoxing. Let the reality check of food rehab ensue.